Are you stepping out with courage?
Thank you for joining us again this week.
March is off and running and it has been a week of the underdogs fighting back. The Proteas made an astonishing comeback to draw their test series in New Zealand, after suffering enormous defeat just a week earlier. On a much more serious note, the Ukrainian military seem to be fighting like lions in an effort to stave off the Russian advance. Russian citizens have been protesting the actions of their government across the border, at great risk to their personal safety. Although there is a world of difference between sport and war, both show examples of ordinary people acting with extraordinary courage in the face of overwhelming opposition.
Last week we shared some thoughts on using your words to instill courage in others. This week we continue the theme, as it relates to the daily decisions we need to make that allow us to be brave.
When it comes to engaging with the world, there is an interesting interplay between trust and courage. It seems to happen in three phases:
Phase 1 – The naïve you
Most of us start off in this phase during childhood. We believe that the world is good and everybody is on our side. We trust everything and everyone, until something happens to shatter that world view. This shattering could be caused by anything, ranging from a slight disappointment to an excruciating trauma. We don’t have to go into any details or examples, but you get the point.
Phase 2 – The cynical you
This moves us to the next phase, that of generalized cynicism. When we live with this mindset, we typically believe that the world is essentially bad, almost nobody can be trusted and despite all of our best efforts we are guaranteed to fail. Since some things didn’t go according to plan in the past, we convince ourselves that most things are unlikely to go according to plan in the future. It’s better to have low expectations, to assume the worst, not get our hopes up, not allow anybody close to us or take any risks.
Live is safer this way, we believe. And generally that’s true. Safer, yes. Fulfilling, no.
Phase 3 – The brave you
This is where courage comes in. Despite your past disappointments, traumas, failed efforts, getting stabbed in the back, let downs and discouragements, you still have the choice of living a courageous life. You can choose to be brave enough to try again, to be who you really are, to trust another person you know might disappoint you (like we all are likely to do at some stage), to stand up for something you believe in despite the overwhelming odds against your success. All of these things take enormous courage. And it will be a daily choice.
What are the alternatives? We can’t go back to being naïve. That door is closed forever. Being cynical is definitely the most popular choice. This is where most people hang out. Distrust, discouragement and despair is their default position. But you don’t want to be like most people, do you? The only remaining option then is to face the scary world with all the courage you can muster. Your choice. Why not choose courage?
“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself” – Soren Kierkegaard
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