Have you been punched in the face?
Have you been punched in the face?
My wife’s boss yells. All the time. The work they do is vital, with actual life-and-death consequences. A high level of diligence, urgency and accuracy is paramount. This boss has learnt throughout his life that the best way to get people to do what you want them to do is through fear and threats. Or so he thinks. What it actually leads to is a demoralized workforce that does great work despite him and doesn’t take his threats seriously (and being called very colourful nicknames behind his back – we live in Cape Town so you can imagine for yourself).
Would they do better work if he was nice and safe all the time?
No, they wouldn’t. Grandma should be nice and safe, not our leaders. When leaders are perceived as weak, people get away with murder – sometimes quite literally.
I listened to a fascinating discussion on this topic a couple of weeks ago. The one speaker (a very prominent voice in the world of organisational psychology and employee experience) leans towards the “soft” side, suggesting that the best leaders should always be nice and never lose their cool or cause their followers to fear them. The other speaker (a historian from Glasgow) took the opposing position, saying that the best historical leaders always instilled a sense of reverence and respect in their followers exactly because they were not perceived as being safe and nice. They approached the topic from a bunch of angles, but it boiled down to one thing: Should we fear for our leaders?
You could tell that their respective perspectives were largely influenced by their life experiences. The first speaker grew up and lives in a very sheltered part of the United States. You get the idea that he has a somewhat naive perspective on human nature, assuming that all of our differences can be resolved by diplomatic discussion and getting along. He told a story about a housebreaker being offered a glass of wine by the couple whose house he broke into and as a result of how nice they were, decided not to rob them. I would not try that in South Africa! The other speaker grew up in a working-class region of Glasgow, where you needed to learn to fend for yourself from an early age. The most respected leaders in his formative years were always the toughest guys – the people you knew could end you if they decided to. At one stage he asked the first speaker if he had ever been punched in the face (Answer: he had not) and used that as an explanation of how we perceive authority and following orders.
Like with most things in life, nuance is important, and the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Tyrants aren’t good, but neither are weak leaders.
The best leaders that I have personally followed do not have to raise their voices often, but you always know they can rip you a new one if they have to. They are competent, diligent and well-prepared and take their responsibility for leading seriously. They are fair and consistent, and hold everyone accountable to their level of competence. They are unselfish and know how to balance the needs of the individuals and the team. They know when to listen and empathize and when to tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself. They set and expect high standards and can give negative feedback without being malicious, demeaning or getting personal.
My answer to “Should we fear our leaders?” is yes. For the right reasons.
We should fear disappointing them because we are lazy, complacent, or unprepared. We should fear breaking their trust when we don’t take things as seriously as we should. We should fear not using the opportunities offered to us because we just assume they will always be on the table.
In a world of extremes, leaders need to find the middle ground again. Too harsh and too nice don’t work for very long—neither will inspire your people. The nuances can be challenging—we know! If you find yourself in a leadership or management position and find it hard to balance these extremes, get in touch. We help leaders become more inspiring through our Leadership Development programs.
What are some of the characteristics of the best leaders you know? Are you afraid of them?
If you would like to work on your leadership style or know someone who would, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
