How aware are you really?
Friday yet again and spring seems to be in the air. Now that’s something to get excited about!
An article by Richard Davis published all the way back in 2011 “We Need More Mature Leaders” prompted todays thought:
“My idea is better.”
“Is not.”
“If we don’t use my idea, I’m not playing!”
“Fine, I don’t like you anymore.”
An argument among six-graders in the schoolyard?
“In the past few months we’ve seen the attitude above reflected in the halls of government and corporate boardrooms across the country (Still today in 2022). Arrogance, pouting, tantrums, personal attacks, and betrayal of trust seem to be the order of the day. Examples in the international environment demonstrate the kind of sandbox leadership that is all too prevalent right now. The timing could not be worse. The nation’s current problems, as vast and overwhelming as they are, appear secondary to the whims of spoiled children, unwilling to play well together. At a time when we need solid, grounded leadership more than ever, we seem to be in short supply of adults who act like, well… like adults.”
We can probably all recognize the above situation, personal or in the news. This article, as the title states, is a call to maturity. But what is maturity? How do we develop it? And what is the value in developing a mature mindset not only for ourselves but for the people around us?
Even if you don’t see yourself as a leader or are not one in any official capacity, this is probably a characteristic that we all can profit from. We all have an influence on the people around us and we are responsible for the flavour of that influence.
Maturity is very much about awareness. It is about an awareness of why we respond the way we do, how our perceptions, beliefs, values and experience guide our knee jerk reactions and our behaviours. It is about understanding when our beliefs and behaviour is no longer serving us and being able to acknowledge the need to change them. It is only once we obtain this level of awareness that we can show up in a mature way which is not reactive, self-serving or driven by pure impulse or outdated ideas. Richards further writes: “It is your ability to gain mastery over your emotional tendencies and reactions. You must develop the ability to fit the emotion to the demands of the situation. Either way, you remain in control.”
So, where can we look to enhance our awareness and therefore become more mature?
- Spend time reflecting on your experiences and reactions. Identify commonalities between experiences and reactions (triggers) and be more mindful when those triggers become apparent. Try to find out what trips you up so you can prepare for challenging situations in advance.
- Be open to and ask for feedback (however discouraging it may be). This helps test your perception of how others’ may be experiencing you. Others’ perceptions of you will differ in important and perhaps disconcerting ways from your self-perceptions. Be open to hear and adapt when necessary. We all have blind spots and the best way around them is to be open to honest feedback from the people that want the best for us.
- Have trusted people with whom you can vent that will keep you honest and act as a soundboard. You shouldn’t be listening to everybody, but related to the previous point, be very discerning in who you ask for advice or feedback.
- Spend time developing and writing your personal value statement. This statement can serve as a tool to more mindfully evaluate your behaviour and respond to situations when they arise. Know what you want to aim at, have a clear goal of what you want to be know for and experienced as. You have your own brand, whether you like it or not, and you have the choice (and opportunity) to make it one that people trust, admire and want to associate with (or not).
Our decisions are only as good as the available information. So, if we are always making decisions based on our own limited, unaware and, dare I say at times immature view, of the world how good can our decisions really be?
So why does this matter?
I think it is very important to note that it is not about being popular or liked. It is about building trust. People are more likely to trust you and share their real thoughts and feelings once you’ve established a history of reacting calmly and constructively to comments of all kinds, even when they’re personal and not positive. And on the other end of the spectrum you’re more likely to hear what people think and feel, if you’ve established real, ongoing human connections with them.
You are not a leader if you don’t have willing followers. And that becomes possible when you are willing to see the world from another’s’ perspective and create real, personal connections.
Thank you for reading and spending some time with us at the end of the week. We really do appreciate your continued support. Please share this content with anyone you think could benefit from it.
Have a great weekend and enjoy the start of spring!
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
