Not all mistakes are the same
Most of us grew up with the idea that mistakes are bad. Dropping a plate while setting the table. Breaking a window when playing cricket outside. Not knowing the answer in a test. All bad.
While we obviously shouldn’t go around dropping plates (except if you are Greek), breaking windows and not knowing answers on purpose, the reactions of well-meaning loved one’s and teachers left many of us with a deep-rooted fear of failure. When we make a mistake, have an accident, or don’t get it right, even when we have the best of intentions, we learned to see this as failure. And we don’t like failing. It feels bad.
But what if not all types of mistakes are the same? Is there some way to distinguish between them?
We think there is, and it goes something like this:
1. No mistakes
Since we don’t like making mistakes, many of us avoid them at all costs. This is common sense – who would like to feel like a failure on purpose, right? So, we stick to what we know and can do perfectly, not deviating to either side. The result is not as ideal as we would like to believe: Since we only stick to what we know, the likelihood of trying or learning something new is greatly diminished. We become stagnant in an ever-changing world and run the risk of becoming outdated and irrelevant. Perfectionism is not your friend, my friend.
2. Old mistakes
We repeat behaviours, patterns of thinking or reactions that we have found to be helpful in the past. At some stage in life, we are challenged by a specific situation which requires a response. The response we chose worked to some extent and we sub-consciously decided it would work again in the future. So, we stick to our guns and things go well for a while. But at some stage this behaviour, pattern of thinking or reaction doesn’t resolve the situation all that well anymore and the results are less than ideal. But, being human, we don’t make the connection all that quickly and we repeat the behaviour, pattern or reaction, expecting it to work (since it has always worked in the past). Less than ideal results start turning into mistakes over time and if we are not paying close attention and adapt our way of going about things, we tend to repeat these mistakes. Often for years, until they become old mistakes.
3. New mistakes
Learning, growing, and developing are often much less glamorous than we imagine. Getting better is not a linear process. Very often we need to take a couple of steps backward to go forward again. But if you find yourself making new mistakes, don’t beat yourself up. This is evidence that you are bearing forward, growing, and enhancing your capability (if you are paying close attention and making the necessary changes as you go along). You are becoming who you were made to be. Learn. Adapt. Keep going.
The Takeaway
Changing your attitude towards mistakes will take some effort. Start by giving yourself permission to make new mistakes. Nobody has it all figured out, so you do not have to have all the answers either. If you are repeating old mistakes, take a step back and look for ways to change your approach towards healthier outcomes. Trying, failing and learning is the only way to grow.
One last thing…
Taking these tough times into consideration and with the knowledge that people are under severe pressure, PurposeWorks has developed a series of workshops aimed at building resilience, enhancing emotional intelligence, managing and dealing with burnout and focusing on the importance of selfcare. Our aim is to provide practical, actionable advice, informed by the science of Positive Psychology in an accessible and affordable format.
These workshops are aimed at individuals, teams and organisations. Please contact us at hello@purposeworks.co.za for more information on scheduling and pricing options.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
