Secrets to success
Secrets to success
I recently read about Alex Cora, the manager of the Boston Red Sox, missing the series-opening game to attend his daughter’s graduation. The media and some fans criticised him, calling his absence a ridiculous excuse.
We live in a highly performative world, one where we’re constantly pressured to aim for perfection in everything: never miss a meeting, ignore feeling ill, play to the crowd, and sacrifice everything for supposed performance.
As a mom of two young children, balancing career and personal goals while setting an example of what a good life looks like, I found Cora’s action profoundly meaningful. Here’s why (expanding on the insights of author Brad Stulberg):
There Are Too Many “Musts and Shoulds”: You must wake up at 5 a.m., see the sunrise, take cold showers, get eight hours of sleep, succeed in work and personal life, train every day, eat organic, home-cooked meals, always be gentle and friendly, and never get annoyed or angry. The list goes on. It’s exhausting and, frankly, impossible to nail every day. My take? Simplify. Do what you can, without the pressure of trying to be perfect and enjoy the ordinary moments in life.
Sacrifice Doesn’t Guarantee Success: I reject the idea that relentless sacrifice is the only path to achievement. Trade-offs? Sure. We need to evaluate our priorities and align them with our goals, but it’s not a black-and-white metric. A key question I ask myself is, “If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?” Cora exemplified this beautifully. He knew a season isn’t won or lost in a single game. Baseball seasons include over 150 games, but his daughter’s graduation is likely a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Cora’s decision sent a powerful message. To his family, he said, “You are my priority.” To his team, he communicated, “We are human, we value what matters, and I trust you to perform even when I’m not there.” What do your actions tell others about what you value?
Think About the Big Picture: Twenty years from now, you won’t remember the game or meeting you missed, but your kids will remember the graduation, first netball game, or birthday you skipped. Choose wisely, consider the future you’re creating with your choices. Many “famous and successful” people reach old age regretting the choices they made. Make decisions you’ll be proud of when you’re old and wrinkly.
What Is Success, Really?: Ask yourself this question often. In a movie I watched, an actor asked Beatles singer John Lennon if he would have considered himself successful if no one had heard his music. His response was something like, “Yes. I had a wife and kids I loved, I wrote music, and I did a job I loved.” No mention of money, fame, or status. Maybe we should all challenge the status quo and be more deliberate about our actions.
If you are having a difficult time deciding on your definition of success, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
