Should you be a leader?

Should you be a leader?

Much like being a great parent, pilot, or flyhalf, I don’t think that leadership is a skill you are born with. Yes, some of us are potentially more comfortable and confident in these roles – but no one is born knowing how to change a diaper, deal with howling crosswinds or kick a clutch penalty in a World Cup knockout match. These are all messy and challenging situations that we acquire the skills for as we go/grow. The key though is learning to lean into and becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.

I remember after bringing our first baby girl home, my husband tried to change her diaper. He used six diapers, a box of wet wipes and a t-shirt in a change because he was super careful and pedantic about it. He soon realised the importance of preparation, setting the diaper station up for a quick change was how he would win this game. He could have told me that it was not for him and that he would not change another diaper, because it was messy, smelly and uncomfortable. But he powered through, learned and changed many, many more. And I am so thankful.

Leaders often avoid getting knee-deep in the messy: sometimes they feel ill-equipped or unsure of how to proceed, other times because it makes them uncomfortable, or sometimes they just hope the problem will resolve itself (like the parent trying to ignore that smelly diaper). Whatever the case, leaders get to choose the impact they will have by learning to lean into the discomfort. Having difficult conversations (early and honestly), showing up when we don’t feel like it, taking responsibility, listening to people’s stories and all the other skills we have been talking about in the last few weeks, take growth and growth is inherently uncomfortable.

Because I am convinced that these are skills that can be developed, I honestly believe that every person can improve their leadership capability. BUT not every person should be a leader. And if you are sitting there reading this thinking “This doesn’t sound like something I should be doing”, that is perfectly okay. Being a leader in your own right also means acknowledging when you are out of your depth, or when you believe your strengths are better suited to another role or position. Leaders, self-appointed or appointed by others, who were not honest with themselves about their motivations to be a leader do more damage than good. Many so-called leaders want the role for the title, the paycheck or the social status it will award. But not being honest about the responsibility it requires, the continuous growth needed and the messiness of it all, is damaging to the individual but also to the people they need to lead.

What does this mean for organisations that habitually promote skilled people into positions of leadership or management, without considering whether leadership is what they should be doing? It means we need to critically assess career paths in our organisations. We cannot afford not to ask potential leaders whether they want to be leaders and why. We also need to be clear about what it means to be a leader – the responsibilities and not just the potential rewards.

Think about what an honest and clear leadership oath would look like. Would you be willing to sign it if you knew what it would require of you? Very much like being a great parent, pilot or flyhalf, being a great leader asks much more of you than meets the eye. 

If you are up for the challenge but lack the practical skills, we are here to help! We have a leadership development course designed especially for leaders young and old who want to be better at leading and inspiring people. Get in touch to find out more. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.

At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.