Talk to strangers!
Talk to strangers
Last week, we had a fun and interesting interaction in our local Postnet. I took my son to get some printing done and noticed a man standing in the store wearing a very classy suit. We live in a coastal town with a holiday vibe, where only the dominees wear ties on Sunday. He stood out like a guy wearing a suit on the West Coast.
Obviously, I wanted to know more.
Turns out, he was on his way to getting married on the beach, but had forgotten to take care of all the paperwork. He and his bride, along with a couple of close family members, had travelled from Gauteng, and the ceremony was about to take place. In fact, he and the bride were both late! We spent five minutes talking about how they had decided on the venue, the guests and their plans for the honeymoon before we got what we needed, wished him luck and went on our way.
It’s nothing more than an amusing anecdote, but it later reminded me of a conversation I listened to some months ago. The host of the podcast recounted a question someone had asked him while doing a talk at a large conference in a major European city. A young man stood up in front of the entire room and asked plainly: “How do you make friends?”
The speaker was taken aback by the raw honesty and desperation the young man asked this seemingly simple question with. Imagine the courage and vulnerability it took to ask it in front of thousands of others. This young man is not the odd one out – it is well documented that many millions of people around the globe suffer from loneliness on levels never reported before. “How do you make friends?” is a serious question that needs answering.
The challenge is particularly pressing for generations who grew up having most of their social interactions via screens. It is well documented that most kids in the Western world don’t get to have much free play anymore, where they get to go out on the streets unsupervised and interact with the neighbourhood kids like we did just a generation ago. According to the world-famous relationship expert Esther Perel, that is where a lot of interpersonal skills, like forming friendships, handling conflict, negotiating and interpersonal problem-solving used to be formed. Simon Sinek was speaking with her on a recent podcast, where they shared their experiences of working with Gen Z entering the workforce now, but also with all people in general. Sinek asked her what her advice would be for those of us struggling with our interpersonal skills, making friends and loneliness, and her answer was cool:
“Talk to strangers!”
When you are out in public, standing in line or at the gym, put your phone away, take out your earphones, look at the people around you – smile, say hi, try to strike up a conversation. Be the weird one who speaks to your neighbours. I made a new friend like this a while ago; I would see this guy running most days when driving to school, and we started waving. A couple of months later, we met on the street and he asked, “What’s your name?” The rest is history.
We are strangers no more.
Something I have believed for a long time, which is shared by Perel and Sinek, is that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. No loving, trusting, fun and reciprocal relationships, no life.
If you would like to talk to us about how to enhance the quality of your connections, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
