The enforcer, the protector and the mentor
The Enforcer, the Protector and the Mentor
As you know, over the past 6 weeks we’ve been sharing our thoughts on some of the leadership challenges we come across most often in our consulting and coaching engagements with various businesses. This week we come to the challenge we come across most often: the art of giving difficult feedback.
Every team member will inevitably fail to meet expectations. I’ve done it, you have done it, everybody misses the mark at one time or another. The leader then has a choice to make: do I let it slide, to the detriment of the team, or do I say something and risk losing or demoralizing a team member? If I say nothing, the underperformer goes on their merry way blissfully unaware of their shortcomings, while resentment builds up in the team. If I come down too hard, I run the risk of scaring the entire team so much that everybody goes into their shell and never tries an innovative thing ever again. What to do?
There are many recommendations on how to give critical feedback, with the most famous one probably being the feedback sandwich: say a good thing, then the bad thing, then another good thing. This should make the recipient of the feedback feel better. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work – the reason being that we will fixate on the criticism and not hear any of the positive feedback. What this type of feedback also lacks is a clear route of how to make up for the shortcomings in the future.
Here is where actual, proper psychological research comes to the rescue!
The art lies in striking the balance between high expectations and offering support – resulting in something known as the Mentor mindset.
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When you only emphasize your high expectations and how the person is not meeting them, this is referred to as the Enforcer mindset. Err too far to the other side of being supportive without clarifying your expectations and that results in the Protector position. The sweet spot, like with most things in life, lies in the middle.
Practically, include the following components in your feedback discussion:
- Restate the expectation. The person in question needs to know what the requirements are and how far they are from hitting the target.
- Honestly and authentically tell the person why you think they can reach those standards. Speak to them about the potential you see in them.
- Put forward the support, a plan or a course of action they can make use of to close the gap between where they are and need to be.
What this communicates is that you take them and their development seriously. They have improvements to make, but you believe that they can rise to the task. And then share the necessary tools to take the steps up.
High standards are great. We need more of those. But without trust and guidance, most of us will never be able to reach them. Try this approach the next time you need to have a tough conversation and let us know how it went.
If you would like to enhance your own or your teams ability to give high quality feedback, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
