The Story of your Life
The Story of your Life
How many great storytellers do you know? People who can tell you about their last trip to buy milk and make you feel part of their epic adventure. My brother is a great storyteller. When he is in the mood, he has a way of telling you about fairly typical things he has experienced in a way that is more engaging and funny than you would expect. He also has a knack for remembering and telling jokes in a way that I’ve never managed to crack.
Humans have always loved stories. They are how we build traditions, teach values, embed principles and relay experiences. Stories help us live multiple lives, time-travel and walk in the shoes of others we would never get to meet. You could even go so far as to say that we experience life as a story, that is unfolding one day, one scene, at a time. We are each living our own story as we interact with the stories of others unfolding around us.
Yet, what makes our personal stories different from watching a movie is that we are narrating our own life stories as we are going about our days. We all have a story going on in our heads, somewhere in the background. As Bruce Feiler puts it in his book Life is in the Transitions:
“It’s the story of who you are, where you came from, where you dream of going in the future.
It’s the high point of your life, the low point, the turning point.
It’s what you believe in, what you fight for, what matters most to you.
It’s the story of your life.
And that story isn’t just part of you. It is you in a fundamental way.
Life is the story you tell yourself.
But how you tell that story – are you a hero, victim, lover, warrior, caretaker, believer – matters a great deal. How you adapt that story – how you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life – matters even more.”
I think Bruce is right. I have a story running in my head, telling me what to expect of life, how to interpret experiences, make sense of things and plan my way forward. None of it is objective; everything is influenced by the labels I put on things. If I’m not careful or paying attention, my narration can send me in directions I don’t want to go or create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It can be challenging to identify the lens through which you view your life story. A tool we use in our coaching as a starting point to uncover the stories we tell ourselves is the following fill-in-the-blank exercise. Without overthinking, complete the following three sentences:
I am…
People are…
The world is…
Did your answers surprise you? Are you comfortable with them? Do they frame the way you tell your own story to yourself in a way that makes you proud?
If you are happy with your answers, you are probably on a good route. If not, you might want to tell your internal narrator to try a different tone.
If you are having a difficult time with your internal voice, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
