Use comparison for good
We regularly tell the people we work with (and ourselves) that comparison is bad. And this is often the case. When we spend a lot of time on social media for example, comparing our dull and average days to the curated highlights of those we follow, we quickly start getting the sense that we are missing out on something. The FOMO hits and our mental wellbeing takes a beating. This tendency is not just limited to social media – keeping up with the Joneses has been an issue since the dawn of civilization and looking over the fence can cause a heap of problems too long to list here.
When drawing comparisons, there are however two distinct ways to go about this: we can either compare upward or downward.
Upward comparison is the one that causes trouble. When we compare ourselves as multi-faceted beings, to the strengths of the multitude around us, inevitably we identify areas in which others are stronger, better, faster, leaner, prettier, happier, or richer than us. This does not feel good and makes us unhappy, anxious, or even depressed. Comparing your weaknesses to the strengths of others is no way to build your resolve.
When we flip the tables and start comparing downwards, we start to reap the benefits almost immediately. Downwards comparison entails identifying all the areas of life in which you are in a more favourable position than others. Not from a position of pride or arrogance, but with a spirit of humility and gratitude. You might not drive the newest, nicest car, but then you notice the person walking in the cold or waiting for a taxi. Your house might be cramped, but it beats living in a shack. Things start looking a lot better once you start paying attention to how bad they could be. This does not mean that you should not strive towards really big goals and dreams, but on your way to reaching them it helps to remain mindful and grateful of the good things that are already part of your life.
A deeper benefit to comparing downward lies in learning from those that have gone through tough times ahead of us – about the strategies they used to strengthen their resolve. History is littered with examples of normal people that have survived the most horrendously cruel circumstances and have been able to maintain their humanity. Not just surviving but using their experiences to make invaluable contributions to the lives of others. Reading or listening to their stories provides a treasure trove of approaches we can learn from and adopt to make it through our own challenges.
The Takeaway
Don’t compare to your life to others’. You have your own route to take. Do it with all your energy and enthusiasm. Walking somebody else’s route will not make you happy or fulfilled. When you must compare, make sure it is downwards rather than upwards. Learn from those that have gone before you and teach your mind to find the good in your situation.
In closing
Our approaches towards individual and team coaching, employee engagement and culture are all based on the tenets of Positive Psychology, with the aim of helping you, your team and organisation flourish. If you find yourself languishing, get in touch at hello@purposeworks.co.za. We would love to help you move your dial.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
