Select Page

Useless friends

Useless Friends

I read the following in a newsletter from a friend, Pierre this week:

As we get older our circles grow smaller. But instead of becoming lonelier, we could build deeper and more lasting and trusting friendships.
Our world tends to over-emphasise romantic relationships, but for the ancients, friendship was equal in importance to romance, perhaps even more so since many marriages were for convenience rather than love.
“Of all the things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship.” – Epicurus
For the philosopher Epicurus, true friendship was not transactional but based on mutual affection and trust.
Friends provide security, emotional support, and shared joy, helping one navigate life’s uncertainties.
He saw friendship as essential for tranquillity, arguing that a life without friends was incomplete, no matter how materially comfortable.
Who do you need to give a call today?

Over the last period of time, I’ve again realized the incalculable value of having genuine, trusted and caring friends to rely on when life does not go according to plan. Arthur Brooks (one of the leading experts on happiness in the world today) refers to them as “useless friends”. He makes the distinction between deal friends and real friends. Deal friends are those people you know and hang around with only because they can open doors for you. You keep in touch for the transactional value they might have, but the relationship never truly deepens past this point (not to be confused with “friends with benefits”). In reality, this is not friendship, but networking – which is perfectly fine if we don’t confuse the two.

Real friends are “useless” because they can’t bring you business, connections, or opportunities. You choose to maintain these relationships because they are fun and bring authentic joy and belonging to your life. You love them and love spending time with them. It takes effort to invest in these relationships, especially when life gets full of other things. Yet we instinctively know that they are worth the effort.

To repeat Pierre’s question: “Which of your useless friends do you need to call today?”

Have a great weekend!

Ps. For real connection, a text message is better than a post or status like, a voice note is better than a text message, a call is better than a voice note, and meeting in person is better than a call. Make the effort.

 

If you are feeling lonely, get in touch we would love to hear from you. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.

PJ and Shinell

At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *