What did you get for Valentine’s Day?
Over the last couple of weeks we have been sharing our thoughts on getting clear about what you want to achieve this year. Last week focused on clearing out some of the physical and mental clutter that often gets in the way of us moving closer to our goals, aspirations or dreams. In case you missed it you can read it here.
While we are still in the Valentine’s Day spirit – I recently listened to a very powerful conversation lead by Brene Brown with Dr John Gottman and his wife Dr Julie Gottman (the founders of the Love Lab and world-renowned researchers of marriage, love and relationships). The conversation was centered around the question of why certain relationships work, while others wither and fade. Although the conversation was very much centered around marriage and intimate relationships, it got me thinking about goals, decluttering and relationships in general.
I would love to share my thoughts and take aways with you:
1. The devil is in the detail: When it comes to relationships, be it with a significant other, a child, a friend, or a co-worker, it matters to pay attention to the detail. We need to be able to pay attention to and notice the small things that matter to those we love. This rings true for our challenge from last week: If you want to succeed in achieving your vision, your goals and your dreams, you need to spend time understanding what success looks like. The more detailed we are, the better we can move toward action. The easier it is to get other people to help you. And the clearer we become around the things that are standing in our way.
2. Tiny little doses every day make for healthy relationships (and habits): It is about consistency. Not only the big gestures. On Valentine’s Day some people were spoilt with grand gifts, which is fabulous. I myself woke up to a beautiful bunch of roses (thanks Hubby😊), BUT… this [alone] is not what makes for a healthy relationship. It is the everyday effort – consistently done, that builds strong connection. The same is true for achieving your aims. When it comes to establishing new habits, working towards our goals or just showing up better for the people around us – TINY LITTLE DOSES – given consistently, go a long way.
3. Make time for doing things outside of your comfort zone: It’s easy to fall into a rut. It is important to sometimes slow down, get out of our heads, our comfort zones and just play. I often look at my kids and see how some of their best adventures are when they are playing. What is interesting, is that it is often also where they learn super lessons and grow the most. It is often where we build lasting connections and make the most progress. We have also seen this in the work we do with organisations – when people are open to “wasting time” together, their shared sense of belonging gets a boost which allows everyone to collectively move towards their shared goals in a more effective way. Making progress doesn’t always have to look like work.
4. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel: Sometimes working towards a valued goal doesn’t necessarily require a completely new direction. A small course correction or change will have a significant impact or result. Look for the small wins in your day-to-day life – a neater desk, a more organized desktop, a 15-minute check in with a friend or partner. Be diligent in this and see the impact it has over the course of a month.
5. Sometimes your plans will have to change: Both PJ and I have recently been recovering from injuries. Definitely not how either of us expected our year to start. This forced us both to do some serious course correction and goal alignment. Think of the example of a stream. Water flows on the route of least resistance. But there are times when a small rock (obstacle) can cause it to change course. Be open to finding the opportunities that can come from the obstacles that life puts in your way. The lessons you learn can become the best stories you share 10 years from now.
Thank you for taking the time to read what we’ve had on our mind this week. It is our sincere hope that you find value in it – if you know of someone that might find it useful, please share it with them. Have a great weekend!
PS. We’ve partnered with a qualified movement and nutrition expert to put together a comprehensive Wellness Day offering for businesses and teams. You can find more by clicking HERE or email us for more info.
Here is a picture of us without injuries!
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
