What gets in your way of having true fun?

Winter has officially arrived across most areas of the country. Some of us love the winter. We get to dress up and feel European for a while, sit next to the fireplace and drink Milo. Others are not so happy about the short days and extra layers of clothing (but ok with the fact that there are less flies and mosquitos).

We all have our preferences and specific ideas of what we consider fun. As we’ve been sharing over the past couple of weeks, true fun has ingredients that need to be present irrespective of the types of activities we enjoy. In case you missed last week’s piece about the ingredients of true fun as outlined by Catherine Price in her book The Power of Fun, they are playfulness, connection and flow.

Initially, it was surprising to see a book on the topic, but subsequent discussions with a number of people has strengthened the idea that just maybe we’ve forgotten how to have fun. This week we’ll have a look at the things that get in the way of playfulness, connection and flow, according to Price. Once you spot these things in your own life, you will be more able to see them for what they are: impediments to having a truly great time.

Here we go!

• Distraction: Trying to do multiple things at once gets in the way of all three ingredients of true fun. We experience flow when we are fully engaged in one activity at a time, not when we are thinking about the future or the past. We are more likely to connect with someone when we share our full attention with each other. Think of trying to have a conversation over lunch with someone who is distracted by their phone. Not the most fun experience, yet this is often the default way of doing things these days.
• Judgement: A big fun killer! In order to judge something we need to step out of an experience so we can evaluate it, which causes us to be come self-conscious and that interrupts flow. A good example is being in a fun environment, but absolutely “having” to take a selfie (which goes along with the necessary editing and filters) so we will be perceived favourably on social media. Just like that, we are no longer in the moment, but thinking about how we will be perceived by the world and true fun stops in it’s tracks.
• Comparison: Closely related to judgement, when we are paying attention to how we look or perform in comparison to others we are not allowing ourselves to “just be” and true fun is unlikely to follow. Think of somebody singing karaoke badly, but with everything they’ve got. That’s an admirable state of not giving a damn about how you compare!
• Busyness: Now this is a sticky one! Think of your everyday life. Week days and weekends. Packed to the max? True fun is more likely to happen when it has space to unfurl. Think of a recent example where you had a great time. Chances are this experience didn’t stick to your schedule, but happened almost by accident. Create open space so great things can happen.
• Stuff: In the form of material possessions. Many of us work very hard to afford the things that are marketed to us as fun. While these things can facilitate fun, the objects themselves are not fun. You might love shopping, but often the kick of buying something new only lasts a very short while. Instead, focus on using the things for their intended purpose instead of just buying the stuff.
• Self-medication: Another sticky one! Price talks about the things that adults “do for fun” and notes that often these things are just a way of numbing ourselves from our current reality. For example, getting drunk or high, binging on movies or series or hours of mindless scrolling can be soothing up to a point. When these become our go-to escapes, too often we can pay a hefty price (like behaving very poorly, getting into trouble with the law, becoming addicted or dependent etc.). These are all examples of passive consumption, which have become so accessible and easy to use that they can cause us to forget that other options for fun even exist!

 Playfulness, connection and flow are all things that we need to be actively involved in. They require us to lean forward and participate. We cannot experience these ingredients of true fun when we sit back and wait for them to happen to us. So this weekend, instead of being a passive consumer, rather get off the couch and get stuck into something truly fun. But remember your jacket, it’s cold outside.

At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.