So, what to do when things don’t go according to plan?
The last few weeks we have been sharing some thoughts on how to organise, structure and set yourself up to reach the goals/milestones you set yourself for 2023.
As much as we would love to give you the assurance that following those guidelines and steps will ensure that there will be no hiccups along the way – we can’t. There is no magic 8-ball when it comes to life. But there are things we can do to get back on track when we encounter setbacks along the way:
1. Relinquish the fallacy of control and live in the circle of influence: The most effective people, according to Steven Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, are able to create the distinction between what is within their control and what isn’t. They are also able to leverage on what is within their control (what they think, feel, say and do) to navigate that which isn’t within their control (the rest of existence).
2. Think about your actions in terms of the long term impact: We tend to get very shortsighted when things don’t go according to plan. We want quick fixes and underestimate the link between current behaviours and getting what we want in the long-term. So ask yourself often “How will what I do now be a gift to my future self?”
3. Focus on what you can do and less on what you can’t do: When we focus on what we don’t have and cannot do we create mental barriers for ourselves. Last week I (Shinell speaking here) got the flu out of nowhere, derailing my training schedule completely. As I woke up the second day and realised that there will be no training this week, I found myself thinking “I will just eat all the junk food I can find”. That all or nothing thinking, right? Immediately I heard PJ’s voice – drink water, eat healthy and rest. The easy thing would have been giving in to the cravings – but it would have made things worse in the long run. I ended up doing what I could. Eating right, drinking water and resting (as much as you can with two toddlers around). I focused on what was within my control and did what I needed (not what I wanted to) to get myself better. By Saturday I was training again and mentally the week had been less torment than other times I had been ill. Try picking one thing you can do well, focus on it and remind yourself that you are doing what you can when you talk to yourself.
4. Gratitude: We know being grateful and practicing gratitude has so many benefits: it helps us be more resilient in stressful times, we are better at solving problems, and it helps us get more things done physically, amongst others. But the practice of naming the 3 things you are grateful for while the kettle is boiling in the morning had no match on something we heard last week which was super profound and has really been running in my thoughts since I heard it. Think about how your life would be if [insert what you are grateful for here] was no longer there. Man, this got me thinking and really added a lot of depth to my morning gratitude ritual. Imagine dropping your kids at school and that being the last time you would ever see them – game changer in terms of gratitude right?! When we are really grateful, even during the hardship we sometimes need to endure, we are able to look further than the present and persevere through challenges because we see them as an opportunity we are given and not just an obstacle.
5. Ask for what you need: Recently someone phrased the difference between help and support in such a powerful way and I would like to share it. Helping is doing it for them – support is enabling them to do it for themselves. I will be the first to admit – I don’t like asking for help. It makes me feel vulnerable and less capable. But taking the view of asking for what I need so that it supports me – well that is a much less bitter pill to swallow. The best example I can think of to illustrate this, is again, one with my kiddos. My eldest has recently started using scissors and now she literally wants to cut EVERYTHING. I am trying to teach her safety with scissors and the importance of doing it right. Often, she will say – “this shape is too hard for me, will you cut it out for me?” The easiest response “Yes, sure” and then I will also know that it is straight. 😊 But this won’t be teaching her much. My commitment is to teach her that I will always be open to support her but I won’t just be doing it for her. This may teach her that it is always okay to ask for support because asking for support makes her more capable. Leveraging off the resources we have at our disposal is smart and makes us more capable.
Thank you for taking the time to read about what has been on my mind in the last week. We really do hope that it provides you with practical value to better navigate what you might be going through. If you found it useful, please do share with someone that could also benefit from it. Have a great weekend!
PS. We’ve partnered with a qualified movement and nutrition expert to put together a comprehensive Wellness Day offering for businesses and teams. You can find more by clicking HERE or email us for more info.
At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.
