When others win
When others Win
As a young kid, I spent significant parts of each afternoon, weekends and school holidays on the tennis court. I started playing after finding an old racket at my grandparents’ house and going outside to hit balls against the wall. As far as I can recall, I loved it immediately. One side effect was that I started watching a lot of tennis on television, too. Growing up in a household that loved sport, this was no problem at all. As long as my mom got to watch Egoli at 18:00 and 7de Laan at 18:30, everything was fine. During the winter months, we would watch as much of the French Open and Wimbledon as possible. That tradition continues to this day.
Given that we are of a similar age, I was lucky enough to follow Roger Federer throughout his professional career. He is undoubtedly one of my top five favourite sports(wo)men of all time. Since retiring, I’ve not really supported another tennis player with the same level of passion and commitment. When I watch the Grand Slams now, I really just do it to enjoy the competition. Whoever wins doesn’t really bother me; I’m happy to see anyone win (this is not the case when the Boks or Proteas play!).
Watching the unseeded and unknown Arthur Fery win his quarterfinal last night reminded me of conversations that happened earlier in the week. Essentially, it came down to how we react when others win. As far as I can tell, we have two options when good fortune befalls someone else:
- You can count it as a loss to yourself, be jealous and miserable, and see yourself as a victim. This is typically referred to as a scarcity mindset, where we view resources, opportunities, luck and recognition as limited and scarce – whenever somebody else wins, I automatically lose.
- Or you can choose to view the situation from a perspective of abundance, where you choose to feel genuine joy when others do well, find inspiration from what they have achieved and learn the necessary lessons to enhance your chances of success in the future.
What I am not saying is that we should celebrate when criminals and corrupt politicians win, but to feel happy when your colleague gets a promotion, or your brother buys a new car, or your neighbours go on holiday, or a friend gets pregnant. You know, when good things happen to normal people like us.
It not only makes you a better friend and more enjoyable to be around, but it also enhances your chances of success in the future. I read about a cool study recently which found that people who consider themselves lucky actually are luckier. When you see the world as a place of abundance, you are more likely to see and take opportunities, solve problems more creatively and put yourself in positions where lucky breaks can find you. Compare that to taking the resentful position where you only see lack, missing out and unfairness – you are not fun to spend time with or setting yourself up for future success.
The Wimbledon finals will be played this weekend, and I will be happy for whoever wins. The Boks are playing on Saturday afternoon, and they better win! I’m definitely not going to celebrate a Scotland win.
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