Which defenders are getting in your way?

Which defenders are getting in your way?

We have officially reached the season of: “Let’s circle back to this next year.”

As we move into November with the end of the year around the corner, I have noticed the ramp-up in social commitments and external demands on my time and energy. Some of the people I speak with note that they “hate” this time of the year, they feel “tired”, and their weekends feel overloaded. Most seem to have their heads down to get to the end of the year – just to take up the reins and start all over again in the new year.

Recently, we spent some time with a client doing a wellness day focused on the foundational elements of wellness -rest, sleep, movement, and nutrition. So many of the people we spoke to had an idea of what they needed to do to get better but struggled to articulate why they weren’t able to do what they needed to consistently (or even at all).

I believe there are primarily two reasons for this:

1. Not knowing what you are aiming for – not being specific about what your goals are, and
2. Not realising what your “defenders” are – not knowing which habits, processes or other elements in your environment are keeping you from achieving your goals.

South Africa won the Rugby World Cup because our team has the best defence. The other teams are constantly trying to find a way through or around it – in life, many things can get in the way of us getting to where we would like to be.

Identifying your defenders is crucial to achieving your goals. Even more so at this time of the year. Here are some examples:

1. Unrealistic expectations: If you know you want to exercise more regularly, sit with a calendar and mark key events (defenders) that may make sticking to the plan more difficult. Then work back from there. This gives you a better idea of the actual realistic amount of time you can dedicate to your exercise and goals.
2. In the rush to the finish line for 2023 don’t forget to stop and fill your energy tank. Not getting enough rest can be a crucial defender against finishing the year well and on your terms.
3. Notice your distractions. Personally, I tend to get very distracted when I don’t have a clear idea of what I am aiming at on any given day. I start by doing a quick mental purge of all the defenders for the day first thing in the morning by writing down everything I feel is taking up mental space. Then I prioritise my list (must, should and could) and get to work. Not everything on the list is things I need to do, not everything on the list is stuff I should do or even can do. Notice which of the things on the list are your strongest “attackers” and get to work. Try to be more deliberate with what you are doing.
4. Don’t overestimate what you can attain/achieve in the short term. Rome was not built in a day and all your goals will not be achieved in the last two months of the year. But by being consistent you will move the needle. Do not underestimate what you can achieve in the long term.
5. Try to defend one day a week where you can do what is good for your soul. A gap in your week (even if only for a few hours) where you can do something for yourself that doesn’t feel like an obligation.
6. Mind your language. Key defenders are hidden very tactically in our own minds. How we speak to ourselves. The language we use: “I can’t”, “can this year just end”, “I can’t wait for the end of the year”, “I am tired”. When these messages are on repeat we end up losing the game without even knowing we were playing it. Gratitude is the best alternative. I get to… “go to the school concert, finish a project, have a year-end lunch” is a great alternative.

Lastly, remember that not everything is within your control (very little is, actually). The only thing we have guaranteed is this very moment. Use it wisely, be present and thank you for taking one of your moments to read what we had on our hearts today.

If you would like some help identifying your defenders we would love to help, get in touch. You can reach us at info@purposeworks.co.za.

At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.