Who’s afraid of the imposter monster?

What are you afraid of? Is there something specific you genuinely fear?

There are many things that elicit very strong feelings of fear, things that make us want to run and hide. Snakes, the dark, clowns, another interest rate hike, your mother-in-law. All credible reasons to run away for sure. We all have our different quirks in this regard, but one thing that many of us probably share is the fear of being found out, the fear of looking like an imposter.

Impostor syndrome is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, as if you are a fraud. The fear lies in being found out, so we spend lots of energy trying to “hide the facts.”

Imposter syndrome has recently received quite a lot of airtime. I am not exactly sure why we have only recently put a name to this experience since it has been around forever. Perhaps, it has something to do with the pandemic and everyone having to navigate uncertainty in an unprecedented way? I cannot be sure. But what I am sure of is that it is not an isolated experience and it’s a lot more common than we may think.

I have noticed that a lot of the articles and talks on the topic are very negatively skewed, which is understandable but unfortunate. This got me thinking of growth. I am in the privileged position to, for the second time, see a little human learn to walk – oh goodness it is uncomfortable and scary (maybe more for me then for her) – but there is no option of quitting. She hasn’t once stopped and said: “what if they realize I can’t do it?” (although she might have thought it). Growth stems directly from discomfort which is, more often than not, coupled with uncertainty and fear. This led me to a google search for the definition of growth: it is the process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually or the process of increasing in amount, value, or importance. Which is impossible without some form of feeling and being out of your depth. This reminded me of a quote I once read by an unknown author: “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there”.

I fear that we have given this form of discomfort a name and decided that it is bad, suggesting that we should avoid this experience. I don’t agree with this perspective (she typed while wondering whether she knows what she is talking about). Imposter syndrome to my mind, is less about a fear of failure and more about a fear of being discovered or found out as a fraud. What makes this experience really unsettling is that most of us believe that we are the only ones who have it.

So let’s start debunking some theories:

1. Successful people also experience imposter syndrome and feel like frauds sometimes (if not most of the time).

2. You are not alone in your experience.

3. It is not something to be avoided or to feel shameful about.

I don’t think that we should be avoiding this emotional experience or situations that cause us to feel this way. Rather we should be mindful of when we do experience it and identify the feeling as a sign post to an opportunity to drive growth, innovation and change.

Here is how I think we can go about using our imposter syndrome as a force for good:

1. Talk about it: You are not alone in your experience. When we connect with others and authentically share our experiences, we are able to better normalize it. Ask for help when you need it and genuinely learn in the experience.

2. Don’t question your worth: The most successful people also experience imposter syndrome, but the key distinction is that they clearly separate their self-worth from this experience by questioning their ideas, knowledge and competence rather than their value or identity.

3. Keep the conversation going: Stay present when you become aware of the imposter monster and keep it at bay by not freezing. Ask questions, talk and listen.

4. Fake it till you make it: Use it as a motivator to learn. There is no better motivator for innovation and creative thinking than having your back to a wall and having to find a way out.

So for example, if you’re currently looking for a job, don’t just apply for those positions that you are qualified to do. Rather, go after those positions that would require you to grow. Lean into the discomfort, learn, adapt and become more.

Today I would like to challenge you to face the monster and let the imposter come out and play.

At PurposeWorks we are all about Making You and Your Work Rock. Our focus is on Organisational Health and Design, Employee Centered Culture, Leadership Development and Performance Coaching. For more information on how we can help you create a work environment that rocks, develop a great team, become an inspiring leader or unlock your personal excellence talk to us at info@purposeworks.co.za.