Beat the meh

Adam Grant published a very insightful article in the NY Times recently about what many consider to be the dominant emotion of 2021: languishing. Situated somewhere between the extremes of depression and flourishing, this emotion is characterized by a combination of joylessness, feeling empty, aimless, unfocused and stagnant. Grant goes into detail as to why many of us are feeling this way – not fully depressed or down, but also not experiencing the same levels of joy and excitement we did before the Pandemic started. Generally just, meh.

Flourishing sits at the positive end of the human experience – what we feel, think, say and do when we are at our absolute best. It would be fair to assume that not many people could objectively state that they are flourishing at this stage in history, but luckily there are things we can do to move us closer to that side of the scale.

Martin Seligman, considered by many to be the father of Positive Psychology, published his model on human flourishing in 2011. In this model he outlines the aspects of experience that people across all cultures need to be at their best. We will focus on a two of them here to beat the languish:

1. Experience more Positive Emotions

It is impossible for any healthy person to never experience any negative emotions. We need negative emotions to survive – they warn us against danger, threat, and trouble. When we flourish, we experience positive emotions more often than the negative ones to the ratio of 3:1. For every negative emotion we have three positive experiences in a state of flourishing.

One way to experience more positive emotions is to demonstrate random acts of kindness – striking up a conversation with person at the check-out (in the past you could also smile at them, but now they won’t see it with your mask on), giving the car-guard a generous tip or inviting a friend over and cooking them a nice meal. This has been found to be the quickest way to boost your mood in the short-term and the effects last for a couple of days afterwards.

Another technique found to be very impactful is known as “What Went Well”. Every night, write down three things that went well during the day and why they went well. These can be big or small, but it works best when you are very specific about what these were, why they were good and what led to them happening. This is a very powerful technique for boosting wellbeing when done consistently and requires very little effort to start practicing.

Look for ways to experience more positive emotion, more often, on purpose.

2. Notice and celebrate your Achievements

Making progress towards goals we regard as important feels invigorating. When we make progress, our brain is flooded with feel-good chemicals that let us know we are on the right path. Once again, these do not have to be enormous accomplishments to have a dramatic impact on your level of flourishing – being consistent is much more impactful than trying to accomplish something enormous. Set small goals towards something you consider important. Keep the commitments you make to yourself. Take small steps but make them consistently. You will be rewarded with a sense of progress and will move the dial upwards towards flourishing.

The Takeaway

We might not be able to count on external circumstances to help us flourish for a while. It might be time to take more responsibility for our own mental health in the meantime. Find, produce and zoom in on the good. Pick something to focus on and make gradual progress. These are things you can do. Try them. Move the dial.

Lastly…

Our approaches towards individual and team coaching, employee engagement and culture are all based on the tenets of Positive Psychology, with the aim of helping you, your team and organisation flourish. If you find yourself languishing, get in touch at hello@purposeworks.co.za. We would love to help you move your dial.